He raised his hand, went into his baby voice, and gave a baby answer. This from the same child who only seconds before had answered the question by whispering to me what sounded like the developed idea of a master’s thesis. 

Why had my son changed his language and tone when his first grade teacher called on him to respond to a question? Why did he need to play small? What was I doing, as his mother, that let him think it wasn’t OK to be the ingenious and intelligent child he was?

What was I modeling? 

The answer hit me like a rock—I was playing small. I wasn’t living up to my potential. I was working harder at fitting in and being like everyone else.

The result is the same, but with different stories as I work with companies and their people. One bank CEO told me his business had grown 3.2 percent last year while his peer averages were growing at 3 percent. He seemed to be fishing for a compliment. I couldn’t possibly play that game and remain authentic. “Did it occur to you that you would have grown more had you locked the doors?” I asked.

Evidence of playing small is everywhere.