McGuire was a jerk. A self-centered, money-hungry sports agent, Jerry used people and discarded them when they no longer benefited him. He had the traditional trappings of “success”: money, power, a fast car, and a babe.

Then he hit the wall. One night, he awoke in a sweat and took a good look at his life. He realized that using people was robbing his soul. He sat up the rest of the night and wrote a “mission” for change in his work and his life. “It’s about relationships and caring,” he wrote.

Jerry’s newfound awareness was initially short-lived. He soon returned to viewing people as objects to be manipulated. While his concepts about life had changed, he wasn’t living any differently. Throughout the rest of the movie, he receives feedback on exactly that point: Despite his new attitudes, he still wasn’t living as if he were a caring, relationship kind of guy. His relationships crumbled and business took a nosedive.

Even after his first wake-up call, Jerry couldn’t seem to “get it” until he hit the wall so hard in so many areas of his life that he could no longer deny the obvious need for change.

Jerry McGuire wasn’t just a popular movie. It was an allegory for a process that happens to everyone eventually. We are completely unconscious of our “flaws” for years, and then become aware while remaining stuck in our patterns, feeling unable to break through.

Have you noticed that you keep getting the same lessons over and over in life until you get it right? Socrates said, “The unexamined life is not worth living.” As you examine your life, it is important to look for patterns:

·          Do you start projects with enthusiasm, take them to about 90 percent of completion, and then quit in search of the emotional rush of the next project?

·          Do you sabotage your success when things are going well?

·          Are your friends people who hang out with you—or people with whom you would trust your life?

·          Do you move to defend “why you can’t” when challenged with a difficult task, or do you immediately champion “why and how you can”?

·          Do you have a history of close relationships with your customers, colleagues, and family, or do you keep them at arm’s length?

·          Is it obvious that you sincerely and thoroughly care for people? Watch what is reflected back in their actions toward you, and you will have your answer.

If you have evolved to the point of being conscious and you have decided you want to grow quickly instead of hitting the same old walls over and over again, try these steps:

1.       Ask for feedback from everyone about how you could be a better salesperson, manager, service person, husband, wife, father, mother, or whatever. Just keep asking others to tell you the truth about what they see in you.

2.       Watch for trends in the feedback you receive and decide to work on those areas.

3.       Imagine you are already better in one of the areas you need to improve. What behaviors would you display that would be different from your current behaviors?

4.       Commit to those new behaviors. Ask a trustworthy friend to alert you when you mess up. Ask him or her to coach you on those behaviors.

5.       Celebrate your successes as you improve your results.

6.       Forgive yourself for your slipups, but don’t allow them to be acceptable to you as a pattern.

Most importantly, watch Jerry McGuire. If you think, “Great movie. It’s all about Jerry McGuire,” you’ve missed the point. It’s about everyone.

Once you are awakened and enlightened, there’s no going back. Unfortunately, most people never awaken. They sleep through life, unconscious of the fact that they keep repeating the same dysfunctional behaviors. While they live from day to day and paycheck to paycheck, they never experience the beauty of the awareness that comes with examining their lives and committing to improving themselves. Until you begin to awaken to your patterns, you’ll keep getting the message, “So much pain, so little gain.”